Infinity

It's All A Loop
Nonagon Infinity is an album made by the band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. In the album, every song plays into the next seamlessly, including the last song with the first song. Thus making the entire album a seamless loop. The idea they had that led them to make this album was a concert with no breaks, no pause to take a breath. A concert that could theoretically go on forever.
And it’s this idea of loops, of 2nd chances, that made me want to write what I’ve written. A story with multiple versions, all decided upon by the reader. To read every version one must loop back to the beginning, over and over, until every version has been read. It is a perfect encapsulation of me. The tendencies that I can’t escape, that loop every day. The stress and anxiety that I go through. The loop of constantly making more work for myself because I don’t think I’m doing enough work. All of this is just for a future where I keep getting turned around on a roundabout by trying to achieve my goals.
Infinity is merely just a number. We think of it as never-ending, but I hate that way of thinking. Infinity is just as finite as everything else. Just as finite as space, as time, as reality. When the universe reaches its end, so too will infinity. A concept like infinity is merely just the possibility of future parts. But the future can only be uncovered if we make it to that point. Futures can be cut short, and so too can infinities. So in the theories of universes, strung together, woven in and out which represent every decision in the timeline of our universe, there are "infinite" different versions of us. So which version am I? Am I the version that achieves my dream? Do I become the greatest game designer? Do I live a fulfilling life filled with peace? Or am I the version that gets cut short? How many infinities must I trudge through to find this out?
This is an essay about me. Eric Edwards. Hi reader, this is a conversation with you directly. Do you know who I am? What year is it? Have I achieved my dreams? Or am I still in the process of writing my story? You probably don’t understand any of this. All of the writing is so haphazard, unorganized, and downright strange. It probably doesn’t make any sense and seems as though I am rambling. That’s because I am. Everything here that I have written is just me. The contents don’t matter. These are just things I think about, things I like, and things I’ve always questioned. Metaphors and similes that help me visualize myself. So, can you visualize it? Who am I?
Life is too short for us to regret. We don’t have time to sit and think. With every second our future ticks closer and closer. There are no 2nd chances at life. Maybe you will get a 2nd chance in life to turn things around. But you’ll never get that chance to go back and change it. Time isn’t forever. You must learn to utilize it to its fullest. Every day should matter. And if every day is painful, then you're living your life wrong in my opinion. Sure, aspects of life can be painful. Look at my schedule. Look at everything I do to pretend as though my time is being utilized to its fullest. Breaks are important. Yet some of us will never know what they are.
So what will you do? You’ve wasted a lot of time reading this expert about a looping album made by a band from the Land Down Under. Will you keep sitting here, thinking? Or will you fight for your future? We don’t know what lives beyond life. So how do we know if our regrets will follow us or not? I personally don’t want to risk it. I will do everything I can and claw my way into the future I want. Sure, it will include less dying than in Re:Zero, and sure, it won’t just be granted upon a wish at my darkest moment like in Bokutachi no Remake. And I don’t have a seemingly infinite amount of time like in Sousou no Frieren. I’m just me, and I have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it. Someday soon, I’ll be known. Someday soon, I can leave my regrets behind. Someday soon, I can start truly living.
“Failure is always an option. It just may not be the one you want.” - Me, after having failed time after time, only to learn and to grow, becoming Me.
Work Consulted: King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard, website: https://kinggizzardandthelizardwizard.com/, youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC80P4gsPr-adpY8bU1S3cCQVxXUUtF5B&si=tZeC57BjNn13PXno

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